I must be too annoying 4 u.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
