is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
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