I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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