thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
