So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
