I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize