Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
