Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize