im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
