so that wasnt chicken after all
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
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