Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
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