Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Randomize
