Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
you had me at cake vodka
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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