that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Randomize