So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
