Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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