She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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