areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
