I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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