Where is the hickey?
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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