I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Randomize
