Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
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