I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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