She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize