apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
