What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
