she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
