Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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