What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Dick very happy bro
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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