Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
