can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
do nipples grow back?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
