she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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