I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
