How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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