The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
