this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Randomize
