Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Randomize
