Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
I'm always down for nudity.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Randomize
