I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
