i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
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