woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
