her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
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