im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
