If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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