YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize
