im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
