I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
