My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
