Don't you send me to vm
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
