Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Damn victory sex feels great
Never joke about your clitoris.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
