physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
This house was built for laser tag.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Randomize
