the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Randomize
