i just made my gag reflex go away.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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