okay pat passed out under dana's car
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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