we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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