Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
there is glitter all over my balls
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
