i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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