We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Floor bacon is actually really good
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
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