How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize