I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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