Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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